October 6, 2017

On the edge of every why (s)

Why am I putting extra effort for myself & for other people to be happy?
Why they didn't do the same to me?
Why I don't feel appreciated?
Why should I tell what to do when you don't wanna do it anyway?
Why do I have to spend time mending my own broken heart?

I've talked too much.
I've think too much.
And I hope I've made too much, too.

On every why(s), there comes disappointment.
On every why(s), there comes heartbreaks.

August 5, 2017


I'm sorry;


You've changed.

May 28, 2017


My souls are empty.
Loneliness conquered me.
Depression is haunting.

I hate this feeling of loneliness.
Of feeling empty.
Of feeling miserably lonely.

Behind all these smiles, there is an empty soul.
Behind all these laughter, there are tears, falling like a waterfall.
Behind all these strengths, there are bruises all over this heart.

Demoralized, demotivated.

I need a remedy.
Cure me.

Tears, N

May 12, 2017

22 days; Looking for Love

when they are comfortable enough;
they'll loved.
and probably;
they'll forget.
They'll forget the happiness they created before.

It's suicidal.
It's painful.

Am I breaking my own heart?
Or --
It's just a fantasy of mine?

Maybe, people should stop promising me things that they can't keep.
Maybe, people should stop convincing me that I'll get defense on anything.
Maybe, people should stop saying that they will protect me.

Maybe, they should stop.
They should;
because they won't. They don't.

I hope I will keep seeing things, in a good way.
I hope.

because the hope is fading; the hope towards myself is fading.

Love, N

April 20, 2017


It's so frustrated that I have to keep everything to myself.
The need of talking to someone is burning in my soul.

but I just can't.

I am tired of crying, inside & out.
I am tired of all the stupid dramas that people continuously create.
I am tired of all the negativity people are spreading.
I am tired of all the unsolved problems, that I can't bear to solve.
I am tired of talking to myself every single day.
I am tired of all the nightmares I had every time I tried to sleep.
I am definitely in the state of getting tired of everything.

How I wish someone can listen to me now.
How I wish someone can see me crying out loud now.
How I wish someone can hug me tight now.
How I wish.

And how I wish,
everything ended now.

Why do I feel alone? Why do I cry every single day of my new life? Why am I not happy?

Patience; the main key for now.

Hey big girl,
everything will be better, soon.
Stand still.

Love, N