May 14, 2018


Dear love,

I hope that someday
you'll need me
like I always need you.

Love, N

May 11, 2018


This feeling hurts so much, i swear I couldn’t hold this.
The pain, is like being stabbed. Hurts so much.


missing you hurts so much.
I’m draining in thoughts, expectations and curiosity.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.

I miss you so much, but I could no longer tells you that.
It hurts.
It hurts real bad.

I couldn’t stop crying since the first day you said you wanna go.
I’ve been crying every night.
Wanting you to come back.
Wanting you to hold me tight.
My life is a bit meaningless without you.

I love you so much, I cannot stop thinking about you.

All i want is you. All i want is you. All i want is you.
I want to be back in your arms.

This is killing me.

May 6, 2018


Dear love,

this “break time” we’re having me kills me every single day.
Living without you sucks; i feel empty than ever.
I couldn’t survive not hearing your voice, not knowing what you’re doing, not receiving any sweet messages from you, even it’s a simple “morning boo”.

I dreamt of you every day.
Sleeping got me sick; i hate sleeping now.
I hate seeing you in my dreams. Cuz i terribly miss you.
And missing you, can’t get me doing anything. I can’t express it to you, cuz we’re nothing anymore?

Dear love,

I hope you know and always know how much did I dedicate my heart, my love towards you.
I hope you know how big my love towards you will be.
I hope you won’t break your promises this time.
This waiting game, got me dying.
But if you worth the waiting, I’ll wait for you.
No other man could replace you in my heart for now. Cuz i love you so much.

Please, come back.

Love, N

December 16, 2017

Dark attempt

I'm losing myself again. I think I am being unconscious in my life right now. I didn't even know what am I doing in my life right now. Everything seems so dark. I can't clearly see what's happening around me right now. I can't even think well, can't really plan for my future endeavours. I am losing my passion. I'm no longer know what's my passion and even what are the things that keeps me going on right now. I'm no longer brave to dream. I've lose my spirit, my soul. I've lose everything inside me. It's empty. I keep on hearing voices in my head. Stuck in depression. Cried heavily. Attempted suicide. How bad can these things be? I don't even know what's happening to me now...I kinda feel that I am in a big regret. I didn't work hard for myself, my future. I've let myself lost in my own mean world. I've let depression controlled me. I regret for letting these things happened.

God, please help me. I'm insane.

October 6, 2017

On the edge of every why (s)

Why am I putting extra effort for myself & for other people to be happy?
Why they didn't do the same to me?
Why I don't feel appreciated?
Why should I tell what to do when you don't wanna do it anyway?
Why do I have to spend time mending my own broken heart?

I've talked too much.
I've think too much.
And I hope I've made too much, too.

On every why(s), there comes disappointment.
On every why(s), there comes heartbreaks.