April 20, 2017

Stormy

It's so frustrated that I have to keep everything to myself.
The need of talking to someone is burning in my soul.

but I just can't.


I am tired of crying, inside & out.
I am tired of all the stupid dramas that people continuously create.
I am tired of all the negativity people are spreading.
I am tired of all the unsolved problems, that I can't bear to solve.
I am tired of talking to myself every single day.
I am tired of all the nightmares I had every time I tried to sleep.
I am definitely in the state of getting tired of everything.


How I wish someone can listen to me now.
How I wish someone can see me crying out loud now.
How I wish someone can hug me tight now.
How I wish.


And how I wish,
everything ended now.


Why do I feel alone? Why do I cry every single day of my new life? Why am I not happy?


Patience; the main key for now.


Hey big girl,
everything will be better, soon.
Stand still.




Love, N

Lonely

Lately,

I feel lonely.







This loneliness is killing me.

April 8, 2017

Where

I don't have more guts;
to ask for things;
to voice out my unhappy heartfelt;
to share (even) my happiness.

Where did the feeling goes?

I am afraid that someday--
I won't be happy with myself, anymore.
I am afraid that someday--
I died on the inside. My soul.

Am I taking a good care of my own heart?

I hope I do.


April 6, 2017

Rights?

Sometimes, somehow, the thoughts on mind are ridiculous.
Till when should I acted like this?

But;
my heart is forcing me.
To get the rights that I deserved.

But;
do I really deserve the 'rights' I kept on telling myself?

No. Yes, no.

I am tired with myself, after a while.
Telling myself to move on from all the memories;
which are not even mine.


Hurt. Definitely hurt.
Sick. Definitely sick.


But;
I am not giving up--
on us.



Love, N

February 13, 2017

I choose.......

After countless hours & minutes, waiting for good, we chose this way?


I choose to stay away.


Perhaps I am hurt with my own mistakes. The one who always try to ruin a happy story. Fuck. Can you at least make people happy, self? Can you stop being stupid?


I choose to stay away.


How many more days should I stay in this depression?



Broken; I am more than broken right now.



God, please pull me out. I can't stand anymore.