April 20, 2017


It's so frustrated that I have to keep everything to myself.
The need of talking to someone is burning in my soul.

but I just can't.

I am tired of crying, inside & out.
I am tired of all the stupid dramas that people continuously create.
I am tired of all the negativity people are spreading.
I am tired of all the unsolved problems, that I can't bear to solve.
I am tired of talking to myself every single day.
I am tired of all the nightmares I had every time I tried to sleep.
I am definitely in the state of getting tired of everything.

How I wish someone can listen to me now.
How I wish someone can see me crying out loud now.
How I wish someone can hug me tight now.
How I wish.

And how I wish,
everything ended now.

Why do I feel alone? Why do I cry every single day of my new life? Why am I not happy?

Patience; the main key for now.

Hey big girl,
everything will be better, soon.
Stand still.

Love, N



I feel lonely.

This loneliness is killing me.

April 8, 2017


I don't have more guts;
to ask for things;
to voice out my unhappy heartfelt;
to share (even) my happiness.

Where did the feeling goes?

I am afraid that someday--
I won't be happy with myself, anymore.
I am afraid that someday--
I died on the inside. My soul.

Am I taking a good care of my own heart?

I hope I do.

April 6, 2017


Sometimes, somehow, the thoughts on mind are ridiculous.
Till when should I acted like this?

my heart is forcing me.
To get the rights that I deserved.

do I really deserve the 'rights' I kept on telling myself?

No. Yes, no.

I am tired with myself, after a while.
Telling myself to move on from all the memories;
which are not even mine.

Hurt. Definitely hurt.
Sick. Definitely sick.

I am not giving up--
on us.

Love, N