February 6, 2017

The hustle is real

Currently found myself trapped in my own mind all over again. Sick of it. Everything seems to be a mess right now. All I wanna do right now is to keep everyone safe from any mess. Yet, I have to sacrifice myself. It's a hard decision I gotta bare, really hard. I'm afraid that I won't be able to say hello to a good future. Sometimes I wonder why did I took up these kind of responsibilities in my life. But the answer is super easy: it was fated to be yours. No saying no.

Strength & support is all I ever need right now. But seems like I can't really find anyone to talk, comforting myself. Hey, I should be doing it myself. No more telling people. No more. I need a distraction, to manipulate my mind from all these negativity. Yet, I can't find the right things, places to distract my mind from all of this. The hustle is getting real. I am afraid that someday I'll be giving up in my life again. I ain't going back to dark past of mine, where I made stupid decisions for myself. No, strictly no.

"Am I depressed?"

Yes, you are.
Just, don't let your depression controls you like it did before.

Where is the light? It's dark here.

Pull me out.

Love, N

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