January 3, 2017

New Chapter

Dear diary,

it has been years of revenge. Uncounted stupid mistakes that I ever did. As I grow older, all the things hit me back. And it hurts like hell. Yes, I've been experiencing some bad moments in my life now. Yes, I learnt a lesson from it. Oops, I shouldn't said lesson. It supposed to be lessons. I am a good person, but sometimes, because of the revenge, I became stupid.


who are you guys to punish me? Who are you to decide whether I am sinful or not? Who are you to kick me out from my own world? You guys are not God. You guys are not angels. Everyone made mistakes in their life. No one is perfect. NO ONE. I know I am just nobody to express these things out, but please, stay fucking away from my life. Give me space to change. You may think that I am a bad person, but people can change! If you can't help, stay away. Just pray that someone will 'knock' me on my head and I will change. Just that.

Sometimes, feels like my life is unfair. Felt this from the beginning of my life. But, I know God is showing me something. He want me to be a respectful and humble slave of Him. Obeying Him. That's why I am standing still until now. Because of Him. My Creator, Allah S.W.T. Hope that this time I won't fall. Hope that this time I won't be doing stupid mistakes all over again. Hope that this time I will change.

Yes, I really hope to announce it to the whole world. But, it's a trap. If you want to change, announce it to your God. I am not gaining some more trust from people anymore. I need to trust and believe myself first. Let bygone be bygone. I am focusing on what's important right now: my new life, the change and my happiness.

Opening up a new chapter of my life. Writing good stories in it. I hope that no more errors in the stories.

Give me space and time, because I will change.

And world, be prepared to regret for every single bad things you ever said to me. Because some fine day, I will prove to everyone, that.......i am somebody great in this world.

Love, N

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